I have to admit, one of the funniest things in Star Wars isn’t meant to be funny at all—it’s Palpatine roasting Darth Vader. We all know Vader as this unstoppable force, the guy everyone fears. But every so often, Palpatine cuts him down with a single line, and it’s so sharp it almost feels like he’s doing stand-up at Vader’s expense.
The best part? We’re not even supposed to laugh. These moments are written as deadly serious, but once you catch them, you can’t un-hear the comedy. So here are four times Palpatine roasted Vader so hard, it ended up being funnier than any actual joke in the saga.
1. Palpatine Mocks Vader for Dropping a Speeder on a Senator
So let’s start with the first scene, where Sidious casually questions Vader about his actions. In Star Wars: Darth Vader (2020) #17, we see Vader chasing down two Inquisitors in a speeder chase. Using the Force, he crashes one of the speeders—only for it to land directly on top of a senator who just happened to be enjoying her free time on Coruscant.
Palpatine’s line here is savage: “Do you realize, my apprentice, that your actions cost the life of a senator important to my plans? She was trysting in a park, and you dropped a speeder on her.”
The way he phrases it makes the Dark Lord of the Sith sound less like a terrifying enforcer and more like someone who ruined date night by dropping a whole vehicle out of the sky. It’s the contrast that sells it: Palpatine is deadly serious, but the absurdity of the situation makes it feel like he’s roasting Vader for being the galaxy’s most dangerous wrecking ball.
2. Palpatine Warns Vader Might Kill Everyone in the Galaxy
Next up is the moment when Palpatine basically has to tell Vader to calm down before he kills his entire staff. This comes from the canon comic Darth Vader (2017) #8. At the start of the issue, Vader is in the middle of Force choking an Imperial officer when Palpatine steps in and orders him to stop.
Once the officer leaves, Palpatine delivers the roast: “My friend, at times I think you might kill every being in the galaxy.” It’s both a warning and a jab, making Vader sound less like a disciplined Sith Lord and more like someone who can’t resist choking out every inconvenience in sight.
Palpatine doesn’t stop there. He goes on to remind Vader that with the Jedi gone, no one else in the galaxy can truly match them in skill or power: “With the Jedi gone, very few opponents remain who are worthy of our skill and power. It can be… deadening. I know. We are surrounded by lesser beings who deserve only our hate. Our contempt.” It’s classic Sidious—half lecture, half mockery—while Vader has to sit there and take it.
3. Palpatine Turns Vader’s First Victory Into a Punchline
Continue to the Darth Vader (2017) comic, this moment comes from issue #6, where Vader returns from his mission with his armor practically falling apart. Palpatine is there waiting, proud that Vader has completed his first true trial as a Sith apprentice by constructing his own crimson lightsaber.
But here’s where the comedy comes in. Palpatine knew exactly what kind of mission he had sent Vader on—facing a former Jedi without even a lightsaber. Of course Vader was going to get wrecked. And yet, after dragging himself through it and somehow coming out alive, he’s left broken, floating in a bacta tank. That’s when Sidious drops the line: “Why, Lord Vader… you have ruined yourself.”
It’s brutal because Palpatine isn’t offering sympathy or praise—he’s mocking the fact that Vader’s victory left him looking like a complete disaster. Even at Vader’s lowest, Palpatine can’t resist turning the moment into a roast.
4. Palpatine Threatens to Reassign Vader for Acting Like a Soldier
So far, we’ve looked at moments from Star Wars canon, but here’s one from Legends where Palpatine comes across less like the all-powerful Sith Master and more like a tired parent who’s had enough of Vader’s nonsense.
In the comic Star Wars: Purge – The Tyrant’s Fist, Palpatine sends Vader to continue purging the surviving Jedi. But Vader’s obsession with hunting Jedi blinds him to everything else. His actions create such chaos that even Palpatine has to step in. Vader reports that he’s killed two-thirds of the Jedi, but one still remains hidden on a planet. Instead of waiting, Vader suggests bombarding the entire world to flush them out.
That’s when the comedy hits. Palpatine, clearly done with Vader’s obsession, snaps back: “The destruction of the planetary population means the loss of Vaklin and its resources. I did not send you there to lose, Lord Vader. Our new order has not yet consolidated its power. At this delicate juncture, we cannot afford to rule through fear alone.”
And he doesn’t stop there: “If you cannot think as a ruler instead of a soldier, I will find other duties for you. Begone from my sight.”
It’s funny because this is less a Sith Master disciplining his apprentice and more Palpatine scolding Vader like Obi-Wan used to—only with sharper insults. Even in Legends, Vader can’t escape being roasted for thinking with his lightsaber instead of his brain.
